The First Entry.......I Come Clean

by Lura Langenback

© Friday, February 20, 2004

Today, I want you to know where I am and where I plan to go. Statistics first: I am a 56 (soon to be 57 in April) year old female who is (I hate this term) morbidly obese at 309 lbs at my last weigh-in on Feb. 18, 2004. My highest weight on record was 370 lbs. in Feb. of 2000. I say ďon recordĒ because at the time, I had already lost some. The weigh-in at the time was in the hospital in an ICU bed where they thought I had heart problems. It was stomach trouble with high blood pressure thrown in for good measure which goes to show you that even doctors can make mistakes.

In the meanwhile, I have kept the weight information to myself like it was a national security risk from anyone and almost everyone for many years. I have no idea why since most people have eyes. *grin* The weight has gone up and down over the years so I understand yo-yo dieting. My husband and I live on a tiny budget and foodstamps which has presented some interesting problems in sticking to diet plans. We have two kids, ages 10 and 9. I will not be talking about them much but there usually are problems for the children when parents are obese.

I have a couple of health problems which is why my doctor wanted me to be on a diet in the first place. He is the latest in a fairly long line of doctors who have mentioned this. On the other hand, he is the first one to actually work with me through a nurse practitioner instead of giving me THE LIST (Diabetic menus and lists) of allowed and non-allowed foods, then telling me to get the weight off, then sending me on my way without any support at all.

The health problems I have are acid reflux disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, elevated sugar levels (not yet diabetic), sleep apnea, disintergrating disc disease (I think thatís what itís called. Iíve forgotten but itís discs in my back collapsing) and, of course, obesity. I take meds for the cholesterol and the blood pressure. I used to take meds for the acid reflux but I had trouble with it and quit. More on the medical problems and meds in an article coming out later.

Background info: Born again Christian since 1975. Preacher called to serve the needs of folks since 1992. An ex-over-the-road trucker (1984-1992) who is divorced and remarried. My weight problem began when I was pregnant with my first child who is going to be 37 years old this year. I have been on so many diets and weight loss plans that I could write a book on what does not work. Some of the plans that I have been on are Atkins, South Beach, the ďoutside aisles of the grocery storeĒ plan, the all-liquid diet, and so many others that I simply do not recall the names of them. Note here: When I was on Atkins for three months, my blood pressure bottomed out on the induction phase. Not bad at all! More on what worked and what didnít with each of these plans later.

The problems with family, strangers, etc. are the usual, I guess. For years, a lack of support, some not-so-nice comments from family who love me and have my ďbest interests at heartĒ, using me as a ďbad exampleĒ for children, strangers gawking at me, rudely staring as if I was an alien fat plant in the land of the stick people. There was a time when I would cry over every insensitive idiot that condescended to give advice to us fat plants, ie: ďlose some weight. donít you know how FAT you are???Ē (DUH!) I have gotten over getting hurt from all the stupid comments, thank God. Now, when I think about it, most of the comments were sort of funny, some were cutting but many were just from ignorant people who had no idea since either they had never had the problem or, worse, they feel bad about themselves and have to make others feel the same. That is sad and I will pray for such people.

Presently, I am still struggling to find that one thing or things that will help me get the weight off for the first time since I was about 20 years old and keep it off for the rest of my life. Iíve lost more pounds than I weigh now and have lost at least 5 or 6 people off of me. There are several things I have learned over the years and I will pass them on to you as we go. Right now, I canít remember them all!! *grin* Things do work if you are willing to work with them. (most failures come from within if we will only admit to them and go on) I do like to *grin* a lot so watch for them. I have a sense of humor too. Most of us fat plants do, right? Actually, I do and I love that gift from God. Had the sense of humor before I got fat so I figure it isnít the weight despite rumors to the contrary concerning jolly fat folks. *grin*

My goals: change my attitude about weight in general, specifically, my thinking about how to lose the weight because I need to lose it to be healthy despite some folks who say that overweight has nothing to do with health problems ( I used to say that too.), attitude about eating, convince myself that no one is really trying to steal my food, generally to be fit and trim and at or near goal weight before I turn 58, eat more appropriate meals but have a distinct time for having a fun mealfrom time to time. My weight needs to be between 135-160. I stand approximately 5 ft. 6 in. I am not an exercise nut. I am, in fact, a couch potato but also aware that to lose weight and be trim and fit, exercise....however evil it may sound, is not an option but a necessity, like it or not ( I donít ).

I guess the first tip for losing weight that I want to pass along here is to keep a sense of humor about you. It will help in the worst of times when that scale hates you. They do, you know. The scale sees me coming and changes itís settings just to spite me. I have known this for years. Nutcase here? Nope, just a frustrated, ongoing dieter who wants to chew up the kitchen. Have you been there??? Yep, I thought so.

So, how about it? Want to take the ride with me and see where it goes? I will be posting my own articles on this subject from time to time. My entries will not necessarily be every day due to time problems but I will check it every day and post as often as I can do so. This site will be set up with ways for you to contribute your successes and failures, tips for diet and exercise, frustrations and encouragements or whatever you feel is appropriate, questions and comments. The questions are to be given so that anyone can answer them that has an answer. I am not expert on this and will not answer a question if I donít know what the answer is.

This site is going to be run with honor and dignity to the best of my abilities. If, for some reason, something changes and things get out of hand, I will close it down.

Thank you for coming to my site. If this is what you are looking for, praise God! If not yet, perhaps it will become what you need as we go along. I want as much participation in this site as possible. If it gets too big, we will change it to a site of itís own. Look at this place as sort of a home for you.


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