If It Were Not For You......

A personal letter to my Lord.

by Lura Langenback

© 11/18/02

Dear Lord,

Around the Thanksgiving holiday, people start to make their lists of what to be thankful for. Not that I am any different about it but You know that thankfulness isn't for just now or shouldn't be. I am thankful every day of my life. So, I just wanted to tell You how much I love You and appreciate what you have done for me. Sometimes it looks like I am not doing what You've asked. I'm sorry. No excuses. I blew it. But now it's time to tell You this.

If it were not for You, my Jesus:

My life would not be at all. You give me each breath to take. They aren't always easy but they are always there. You protect me.

Dad and Mom would not be my parents. It would not have been the wonderful childhood that it was. Thank You for giving me to them. Tell Dad I love him and I will see him when You call me home. (Dad went to be with the Lord on July 29, 1996)

Out of stupidity, I would be dead several times over. In a car accident that almost was, the 18 wheeler I almost dumped a number of times, a car accident that was but didn't hurt anyone when it should have killed us all. When I ran away from home even before kids thought to do that, You protected me so many times that I could not now even remember how many. Protection from the guy with the knife, people with drugs, and such a multitude of absolutely idiotic things I did when I had no idea that anyone could possibly die from any of that. Thank You for keeping me from getting on drugs at all.

I would not be married to my best friend on earth. He is Your gift. Thank You for answering my prayers. You and he are the bright lights in my world. Even though I made incredibly ignorant choices, You still gave me the most wonderful man I have ever known.

There would be no daughter. She has been a joy to watch grow up. Her friendship and the love of a daughter encouraged me in some very troubled times. Thank You, Father, that I was blessed with her. Now that she is grown, she needs you more than ever.You know my prayer for her, Lord, and thank You again.

My sister would not be here. What a loss that would have been. Her gifts are many and they bless people who know about them and see them. I remember when she was little. So cute and full of life and conversation. When I made mistakes with her, You straightened it out. May she be blessed more and more.

Our adorable girls would not be here. The welfare people tried so hard to keep us from having them when their parents had such a hard time and could not raise them. But You are greater! With all the opposition, You still touched the heart of the judge who ruled in our favor.

Writing would not be as important to me as it is. What a gift You have bestowed on such a one as me. Always I felt so unworthy but You have shown me that I am a child of the King! I seek to serve You in all I write. May I never say things my own way instead of Yours.

If it were not for You, Jesus, I would not be saved from all that is about to come. You died for me. I cannot conceive of what You went through yet You did it out of love. Glimpses of the cross go through my mind. What I see is beyond imagination. Such pain and agony, not just physical but also spiritual and emotional. How can I thank You for that? There are no words.

I will do the best I can to be all that You want me to be. My prayer is that one day, standing in front of You, I will hear those precious words....'well done, thou good and faithful servant'. May it never be any other way.

So I have much to be thankful for. It isn't just at this time of year, but every day of my life. Yet, right now the thoughts are brought to mind again of all the things I want to thank You for, one more time.

Your daughter,