Strangers In My House!

Some mornings, it just doesn't pay to get up!

by Lura Langenback

© 12/10/01

The house was quiet. I was working on the latest offering in my oh so short writing career, when from the back bedroom I heard 'Wheeee..fuuuun.' Oh dear Lord, the Furbys were awake again. Do you know about these animals? At least I THINK they are supposed to be animals. They look like a cross between the cutest little teddy bear and one of those creatures on the movie 'Gremlins.' One of them looks for all the world like a bumble bee with ears. The other looks a bit like a pumpkin with ears and a tuft of hair on top. They talk.

I have been informed that they even know their own names but seem reluctant to give out that information unless they are bribed. English is a second language for them so sometimes it may be difficult to understand the chatter. Of course, the girls have absolutely no problem in that department. Only us 'older' folk have that obstacle! Boy, do I feel ancient now and somewhat stupid since a toy (at least I think it's a toy) knows more languages than I do.

The worst part is trying NOT to wake them up. The creatures sleep more than anyone I know. If you want them alert, it is almost impossible to get them to respond for very long. Soon, regardless of all efforts on the part of the child, they begin to snore. This means the creatures are back to sleep when the kid wants to play.

On the other hand, if I am in the house alone going into the girls' room to tidy up, they come awake and startle the daylights out of me. At this point, I would gladly accept a snore or two. No siree. NOW they want to be awake, making truly RUDE noises, not saying 'excuse me' like proper folks do. Fortunately, the manufacturers did not include an olfactory sensation in the package. The cat does enough of that! We don't need more of the same, thank you very much.

It's a bit difficult because these creatures seem to be alive. They learn things. I suppose they could have learned that one tiny experience from the cat. (note to self: change the cat's diet right away.) Feeding time appears to come often. This reminds me of that large alien plant in the movie 'Little Shop of Horrors.' You know the one. 'Seymore, FEED ME!!' At any moment now, I fully expect to hear that coming from those plastic mouths. At least I THINK they are plastic. The child has to put his/her finger inside the mouth of this thing to feed it. Apparently, that satisfies the animal/creature for at least a minute or two. Then it begs for yet another serving of finger.

In all fairness, they haven't taken over the house yet, nor have they bitten me. This is a small vote in their favor. But I have to tell you, if they start coming out of that room by themselves after they wake up today, I am feeding them to the computer that the aliens have taken over. (That is another interesting story.)
If you don't believe me about that, just read 'Okay, NOW what?'. You'll see.

In my neverending quest for information on this subject (until the little buggers are out of here!!), I wonder how a person could return them? Where would they go? Is there a mother ship? Sure, call me crazy now but you wait. When they invade your house scaring you into next week when you walk into a room, trying to eat fingers, sounding like the husband on the couch or a rude cat, things will change. I only hope they haven't carried me off to somewhere unknown by then. Well, I do outweigh them by none-of-your business pounds. It might take a couple more of their friends to......'Hey, you get back in that room right now!!! Don't make me hurt you! Where is that number for the UFO people?'

(any resemblance to anyone you know is purely coincidental. I am a 'Unique' person!!!)